Utah Utah Utah part 2

Day three of Utah we took Archer and all of the cousins to the zoo. Thai was the first time archer has been to the zoo that he can actually remember, or know what is going on, so we were excited! He LOVED it. The brown bears were in their pool and playing and it was so CUTE! Archer sat and watched them for 30 minutes. He was in awe! We also got to ride the train(archer loves trains), and when it went past the lion area the lion, who hadn't moved all day, came charging at us roaring as loud as he could! Good thing there was a fence. 

After the zoo the boys all went boating with my dad, and grandpa Nixon. Callan wake boarded and got up! Yay! Go Callan!! Archer went in the water too. He was pretty mad at first, and then after daddy got in with him (he was with grandpa) he was just fine! 

My mom, my grandma Nixon, Olivia and my cousin Abbi went to see Peter Pan at The Hale Center Theater in Orem. It was so much fun! I had forgotten how much I love The Hale. I miss Utah sometimes when I think about how much fun I can have there. I never really appreciated Utah until I moved away. 

Utah part 1

Utah bound! We just got back from Utah. We had a jam-packed, awesome, adventurous Vacay in Utah. We got got see 5 sets of archers grandparents!!! Tons of aunts, uncles, cousins... We had a ton of fun! 

The airplane ride in was a mess. We had a competently full flight with 17 kids!!! (Utah- amiright?) there was no AC in the plane, and Archer had an awful head cold. Snot nose jones! It was just horrible. It's a 4 hour 40 minute flight. And guess what? We sat on the run way for 45 minutes... Gah... Plus I was a tad bit hungover from patying too hard the night before with my lovely lady friends. Oh, and the power in our house was out... So the cleaning I wanted to do before we headed out was not an option. 

Once we landed, Rex and Jennifer came to the airport to pick us up. We spent the first night with them. They treated us to this yummy little cupcake shop down town Pleasant Grove. Cal and I split an Almond Joy cupcake. Omnomnom. Archer loved/hated the chickens. One of them pecked him so he didn't know quite what to think after that. He kept an eye on them though... 

We went to my grandma Gail's (myhappyplace) the next day. Well, I ran into walmart on the way to her house to get diapers, and saw her and my grandpa there. Random coincidence! Haha we spent the morning at the park, whole Callan went with his cousin to see Godzilla. Archer, my grandma, and I headed to the city park to play, eje we waited for my family to fly in from Arizona.

My mom and Olivia pulled up to the park, and archer ran over, and like it was nobigdeal ran right over to my mom, and said "hey nana", waved, and ran off. Just like he sees her every day. It was so funny! He cracks us up!

To be continued....

Memorial Day Part 2

We loved spending our long weekend together as a family. We went swimming, had a BBQ, and enjoyed the time we had with our friends.

We are getting ready to head to Utah. We leave in just a few days. We get to see both sides of the family, and see some friends. Callan's birthday is on the 3rd, and our anniversary is on the 11th. It's going to be a fun 2 weeks full of non-stop celebration. You know my mom.... She's a big planner. We don't have a spare minute! 

Lagoon, River Rafting, the Zoo, hiking, family pictures, a wedding! So much!!! 

Memorial Day Weekend Part 1

We love Memorial Day weekend. It's such a special time for Military members. We get to spend extra time with our friends and loved ones. We get to honor, and remember those who have given their lives for us, for our country. We get to hold close, what matters so much to us. I love Memorial Day. I always think of my family that has passed on, and the men and women who have given their lives for us. I hold them especially close to my heart over this special weekend. I am so greatful for the freedoms I have that make it possible for me to spend my time with my family. 

This weekend Callan just got off night shift last night, last shift for a while, because we are on LEAVE! Yay! We are headed to Utah on Saturday! Whoohoo!

Callan got home @8am so he spent the day sleeping. Well... Until ArcherRynn ran upstairs to bang on the door and wake his "daa-yee" up. He just started saying daddy today. Can you believe that? I'm still mama, or Aubwee... It's ridiculous. I spend most of my time with this kid, I change his Poopy diapers, I wipe his nose, I feed him, spend all night with him because he's sick, and I am Aubwee.

Whatever kid... Good thing you are so cute.

Archer played in the back yard for a bit, can you believe how big he's getting? I just can't. I refuse. We went over to the duck pond on base, Archer played at the park, and then we walked around the little lake. Archer loved it. We did too, it was beautiful! We had so much fun. As you can see, Archer does everything his daa-yee does. It's quite adorable. I love my little family. We have the best adventures. This weekend has already been so fun. :)) I'm so excited we are finally on leave! What an awesome way to kick it off. 

Yeef mama yeef 

He's looking too big for that slide!

Like Father like son 

My perfect Family 

Just like daa-yee

Admittance

This perfect human being has captured my whole soul. He is a piece of my heart that isn't inside me. I can't express the love I feel for him. He literally is a piece of me. I'm not the most motivated person in the world. I just go day by day. I live my life, and I love it, but I'm just me. My son, makes me want to be my best-self. He has changed me in so many ways. For better, he IS my motivation to change, to be better. 

I am open, or so I thought. My friends and fam, all describe be as open. So I must be open right? No... I'm not. Lately, I have been figuring out who I am. I am not happy, and I am angry, a lot. I wanted to know why. After some soul searching, I figured out, it's because I am not truthful. I don't lie... But I am not honest with myself about who I am, about what makes me me.

I am Aubrie Nixon Harding and I am 22 years old. I struggle with mental illness. I have bipolar disorder. My mom, bless her heart, will tell you (me) "no you were never diagnosed properly" but do you ever just "know" something? I've been hiding that monster inside of me for so long. Keeping it contained is so hard, and I'm tired. That is why I am so irritable all the time, and angry, and not happy. I can't be. I am so busy fighting the monster inside that I don't embrace it.

Fighting makes you tired, it does nothing but make things worse. I am getting the help I need by admitting to myself what I have. 

Bipolar Disorder doesn't define me. In fact, it's not me. It is inside of me, an makes me who I am, but I am not my disorder. I am not my illness. 

I am Aubrie, I am 22 years old, and I am getting the help I need so I can be happy.

There is nothing to be ashamed of in mental illness. Getting help from a friend, a therapist, or medication is not shameful. It's powerful. It means you know you have things to work on, and you are willing to work on it. It's a beautiful thing. 

Silver Linings Playbook is one of my favorite movies. It shows the ugly side, and the beautiful side of mental illness. What people go through. How they suffer, how they overcome. If you ever get a chance, this movie is amazing.

I am ready to be honest with myself, this is step one. Admitting, and accepting.

I am doing other things to help me overcome, and to help keep the monster inside me under control. I am taking it day by day, and my life is getting so much better. A weight has been lifted, and I can breathe. 

Callan is so supportive and loving, I don't keep what I would do without him. And of course my Archer baby. I love my family!

Sesame Street comes to Fort Meade

The military is amazing. It just is. We are always taken care of. Our USO is especially amazing. One thing we have really enjoyed is the opportunities thry offer us that we wouldn't normally have. To kick off the Summer, they had the folks from Sesame Street come put on a special show for military kids, for FREE! 

Seasame street is a big sponsor of the USO and they do lots of things for military families. Archer refuses to smile right now, he's sooo broody. That, and he was pretty scared. Hes scared of statues. So you can imagine what he thought of these guys. Towards the last 10 minutes he started to really enjoy it, and even chased after Grover, when he came into the audience. He chased him saying "rawrrr". It was pretty cute!

Mums Day

Mums day! We has a great day! We woke to Archer coming in our room saying "mama, mama up up" so we got up! Callan made me a yummy breakfast, and we decided to relax for a while since we did our lunch date on Friday. We made our phone calls, and decided to go check out some hikes in our area.

We found a nice hiking area with lots of different trails on a nature preserve near by. It's in a community we wanted to check out anyway, so it was a win-win. 

Archer didn't want his stroller and ran down the trails like a boss. One whole mile!!! He's getting do big! We went and drive around the area for homes for sale, and found a few we liked.

Yes, we are house hunting! We are staying here in Maryland!!! We wanted to go back to Utah, but only for family. After a long talk with my mom (because I'm the homesick one) I decided I need to worry about MY family. Callan and I have more opportunities in our career paths if we stay here in the heart of it all.  We are really excited! Of course, who knows what can happen tomorrow. But for now, that is our general plan.

Anyway, Mother's Day was awesome! We had tacos, because I was craving them. Who craves tacos? We watched Game of Thrones. Wasn't that episode insane?!?! Seriously. Crazy good! We also watched Sharknado, and Silence of the Lambs. Bwhaha that's all I can say. And Dr. Hannibal? He's a badass. I might have found my new favorite "villain". It WAS Aman from Legend of Korra. But, Hannibal is pretty fantastic. 

It's 2:05 am and Archer fell asleep on the floor, so I put him back in his bed. Of course that woke him up. So guess who is in our bed, and who only wants Mama? Yup this guy! 

Love him so much! Until next time....

Happy Mothers Day to all those mommas out there!!!