Monday, June 18, 2012

Heart Ache

These past 2 days have been pretty rough!
My lovely little lady rolled off the bed on Saturday night and landed on her back.
Callan was home with her, so I didn't know about anything until I got home later that night.
By the time I got home Bella was wheezing, and having a lot of trouble breathing, and just looked like she had been through hell.
Callan had her wrapped in a cool towel and was trying to get her to drink water. But she could hardly breathe, let alone drink water.
By 2am I had just had it with listening to my little one whine in pain, and struggling to breathe.
So we headed up to the vet to see what we could do for her.

I had a feeling before we left that it would be euthanasia. But I was hoping that was just a feeling.
It wasn't.

Miss Bella had a ton a blood and fluid in her poor little lungs and only had a 40/60 chance of survival if she was kept on oxygen for a few days. And even then her life wouldn't be very pleasant.

So I made the final call to have her put to sleep.

They let us come back and hold her and love on her, and say good bye.
 
They put the little shot in her and she took her last breathe and then she was gone. Just like that.
It happened in less than 30 seconds.

We got to take her home with us and we buried her in my grandma gail's back yard under a lilac bush.

Losing Bella is hard to explain. I know a lot of people just wouldn't understand. Especially if they aren't animal people. I didn't quite understand  the pain people go through because I had never lost a pet. I would never wish this heart ache and pain upon anyone. But I think it is something we all have to go through.

I love animals a lot, and they are part of my family. I would do anything for my dogs! I know that by having animals you always have a risk of them hurting themselves, and when they do pass on, because they will, it hurts! But you have to be ready for it.

I am glad I made the decision to help my little love Bella pass on, because she was in so much pain, and she was so ready to go, but she couldn't make the decision for herself.  So I had to be strong for her and let go.
I had to be selfless and help her.

Its going to take a long time for my heart to heal. But it will get there. I don't think I will ever be okay and feel all better. But I do think that my pain will get easier to bare.

I miss her so much! And I still have Thor who will help a lot. And I have my sister Olivia her for the week, and of course Callan. And in 29 days or before my little Archer!

My heart goes out to all the family's that have lost a pet, or someone that means a lot to them.






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